My heart seems always to be crying out for things, pulling me toward things, and shattering me apart because I do not understand its muted beating. It craves sunlight yet thrives in the night. It is tired, it is raggedy, it is hurting and it won’t tell me why. It just speaks in sentences too quiet to understand. It doesn’t even listen to my tears anymore, it just silently waits while I sew myself back together, into a shell for it to hide in once more. It has taken me from my silver, hazy, smokey mind and laid me down on its weary, tired and broken shores. Watches as the salt water gently covers my grey skin, tide inching closer, and turns its back on me while I choke on all the things I cannot control.