wake up at 3 of the clock eat jam in my pyjamas from the jar play marbles with an imaginary friend
he wins...again this the grown up world of a four year old
acting like a grown up time mine to play with
*
"Marbles...pyjamas and jam!" I chanted to myself to announce the new me I had become.
I remember getting out of bed in my striped pyjamas and going downstairs and eating the jam out with a spoon( forget the bread) and then having a game of marbles by myself...first taking one shot and then moving over and becoming my invisible opponent and taking his shot. My imaginary friend winning all the time.
This was at 3 in the morning and felt very scary and daring and so grown up because I was deciding what time and what to do for myself even if it was 3 O' ****** clock in the morning.
I had envied grown ups and their not having to go to bed by nine and be able to stay up and be themselves. I could hear them laughing downstairs...having I supposed....the time of their lives.
So now I sang myself into my four year old adulthood with "Marbles...pyjamas...and jam!"
Because that's the kind of kid I am.
Now the wind wails through the ruins of the house howling that "Home is...an absence." My new mantra. And outside the house (that isn't there no more)( invisible to everyone but me) I would have ghost girls jump to a skipping rope chanting my "Marbles...pyjamas and jam!" as a rhyme. Skipping in time.
"And this one's OUT!" they all shout and scatter away like little marbles being hit by a sacred scared twa.