each time i feel i am depleted,
whenever i strike bedrock,
they ask for more -
i dig deeper.


on an ever higher
uphill climb
but how can i say i’ve failed
if i’m still climbing?

i want to fail.
i want to give up.
i want this boulder to fall and crush me,
to give reason to this pain
in my hands and
in my chest.

(he said he’d give me a good reason to cry -
no reason seems good enough anymore.)

i cannot stop,
no matter how much i want to.
there is no hope in persevering anymore.

only dread.