I don’t know how you did it.  
That day, out in the field,  
surrounded by so many faces.  
My eyes found you  
just you.  
And I never looked away.  

You weren’t extraordinary.  
Not the kind of handsome that stops the world.  
But there was something about you.  
Something I can’t explain.  
Like fate took my hand and pointed,  
Him. It’s him.

But nothing happened.  
Nothing ever happened.  
And maybe it never will.  

Yet here I am,  
carrying this feeling like a wound.  
I like you.  
No  
I love you.  
Too much.  
So much it crushes me,  
so much it feels like a sickness.  

It makes me sick to know you don’t feel it.  
That you probably never even saw me.  
That I’m invisible to you,  
just another face in the crowd.  

And maybe I’m not beautiful.  
Maybe the people who say I am  
are just being polite.  
But for you, I would have given everything.  

I’ll probably never see you again.  
But you’ll stay with me.  
You’ll haunt me every day.  
Because I can’t stop thinking about you.  
I’ve tried to leave you behind.  
I told myself,  
This year, I’ll forget.  
But I couldn’t leave you in 2021.  
Or 2022.  
Or 2023.  
And now, here I am,  
dragging you into another year with me.  

I guess we were never meant to be.  
But I’ll keep loving you anyway.  
Even if it tears me apart.