How deep I loved you,
a depth beyond my own understanding.
I longed to love you more,
yet every part of me
despised the very act of loving you—
after all the hurt,
all the damage you left behind.

I let go of my dreams of love,
yet somehow, I still loved you endlessly.
Oh, how you missed me once at 4 a.m.,
a message I never saw, and God knows that.
After that, I never slept until sunrise,
waiting, hoping you’d message me again—
but it never came.

I stayed awake,
watching the night slip away,
waiting for your words that never arrived.
My heart, consumed by longing,
oh, how I loved you—
how I loved you,
a love I hoped for,
but never felt returned.

The hurt you gave me ran so deep,
I wonder how much your love could have healed
if only it had been as pure as my longing,
if only it had been what I dreamed of