Japanese kamikaze pilot
Thought he was hard.
Crashed his plane
In his family’s scrap yard.


Went to hospital
Freddie was low
For a blood test
Result didn’t show
Freddie feeling miffed
I said to him b positive.

I had obsession with
My  football team
Happy wife so
It seemed.
My lover left me
She gave no reasons
I was with her
For seven seasons.

We had a kidnapping
At are school
Police and the teacher
We’re ****** fools,
Panicking eyes wide shut
I gave him a nudge
And my mate woke up.

What do’s the future
Hold for me
So I made an appointment
With a psychic
Named Lee,
I thought this psychic
Was totally ****
He cancelled my
appointment saying
No way I was going
To be able to make it.

My mate
Harry Rag
He liked to talk
He liked to brag.
He said he made 6 figures
Last year,
Bragging this to me
I found out
he was the
Worst employer
at the
Toy factory.