Gone

How do I write the words,
To say good bye?
Not that you are gone,
Your soul flying high?
It is so hard to believe,
That you are not there at the other end of the phone,
I keep thinking I should call,
that maybe you will be home,
But I now you are gone,
I know it's true,
Just as  I know,
That I never really knew you.

My Dad, my father, drinking buddy, and friend,
I miss all the wasted time,
And ******!
I want it back again.

Every time i look up at the stars,
I think of you,
Or see a boat, smell the sea,
Or stare out at the ocean blue,
I feel just a little bit of you,

Often I have the desire,
To build a plane, or a balsa wood canoe,

Everywhere I turn,
I see you,

I know you are gone,
That you walk now,
With Grandpa,
And god,

And I find it so odd,
That I can't let you go,
Even tho I know,
You are gone,

Like the stars,
Vanished at Dawn,
It was your time to go.

I see my campfires burn,
And think that if I quickly turn,
I'll see you, standing there,
Jeans, flannel, T-shirt,
With sawdust in your hair,
Smoking a cigar,
Drinking a beer,
Sometimes it really feels,
Like you are still here.

They were  rare,
But I miss our talks,
all the planes,
and all the midnight walks,

I know that I will see you again,
Someday,
In some other place,
When my time comes to go away,
And I'm done with this rat race.

I miss you Dad,
And I think of you alot,
It is hard,
For in grief it is so easy to be caught,
Hard to think that you have passed away,
No more cigars, talks, or camping on a rainy day,

But I'll go on,
And live my life as the best man I can,
Until it is my turn,
And the lord calls me home,

But right now,
By your grave I stand,
Ashes spread where you loved to roam,
From mountains to sea,
Under endless stars
And majestic trees,

And so I say good bye, Dad,
And hope my faith is true,
That someday again,
I will see you.
I love you Dad.

~Matt Pentz
08/02/10