You say you love me,
but in the crowd, I disappear.
I’m standing here—
close enough to touch,
close enough to breathe you in—
and yet, your eyes drift past me,
as if I’m nothing more
than the air between us.
Your hands hold me,
but they don’t reach me.
You skim the surface,
never diving deep enough
to find where I truly live.

We share this bond,
this silent thread spun between glances,
a language no one else can hear.
But when the noise of the world rises,
when faces blur into one,
I fade.
I become a shadow,
existing only
when you choose to see me.

I feel you near me,
your words,
your breath,
the weight of everything you don’t say.
But still, you are blind.
You say you love me,
but love isn’t quiet like this.
It doesn’t hide behind shallow gazes.
It doesn’t leave me wondering
if I am real
or just a reflection
you need to keep yourself company.

Am I a truth to you,
or a lie you whisper to fill the silence?
A creation of your own design,
a love that lives in the safety of your mind
but crumbles in the light of day?
Here, among others,
I vanish.
And I ask myself—
is this blindness unintentional?
Or do you look away
because you fear what you might see?

I crave your eyes—
not the fleeting glance,
not the kind that grazes over me
and moves on.
I want the gaze that stays,
that lingers,
that searches for the depths
you pretend aren’t there.
I want to be seen in the noise,
in the chaos,
in the places where love must fight to exist.

You say you love me,
but I feel it—
I feel how I disappear
when others call your name.
As if my presence is only valuable
when there’s no one else to fill the silence.

And so, I stand still.
I wait.
I hold my breath,
hoping you’ll find me in the crowd,
hoping your eyes will lock onto mine
and refuse to let go.
Not just when it’s easy,
not just when we’re alone,
but when the world demands your attention.
Choose me.
See me.
Not for a moment,
but always.

Because I’m here.
I’ve always been here.
And I don’t want to be your shadow,
your almost,
your sometimes.
I want to be your always.
But if you can’t see me—
if you won’t—
then let me go.

I will not beg for love
that cannot bear to look at me,
even when I stand in the light.