The Ghosts of My Fathers Past
by @dreamersdieharder
Some people lie, yet some lie more than anyone else.
Some people die, yet some die for the lies they tell.
So, yes I'd lie for you, at times even die for you,
though we know you wouldn't do the same for me.
Some men protect, while some cower in fear.
Some men love their children, some make us question why we're even here.
So yes, I'll always love you but when the fog of my brain clears and the fears resurface I'll remember who you truly are, a man whose memory fades as fast as his courage.
The seasons of my life continue to be prolonged with every chapter in this rather tumultuous book continuing to get longer and more convoluted.
I'd often read the guides to manhood set upon us by the universe and yet I can't seem to find the section where they mentioned a father who doesn't stand up for his children, a father who puts money first, a father who truly loves no one but himself.
You see, it would be easier to treat you as the villain of my not-so-friendly fairy tale, yet doing so would insinuate that you have power, and truthfully my dear you have none.
I'd ask if when my seasons changed, if you'd stand by me. Yet I know the truth is quite simple, I'm a young man built to fall, knowing that while others will catch me, my father will not be one of them.
So, as I continue to write my own guide to manhood, I refuse to let those looks in the mirror haunt me because of my likeness to you.
No, I refuse to let this tattoo on my chest burn anything into my brain but a reminder of those few good memories.
A reminder that underneath your cowardice...stands the promise of a man who once was, a man who could've been, a ghost of my father's past.