dont tell me to smile
I no longer bend
until you break me

the words ring in my ear
im
too loud
too emotional
too outspoken

and over time you
wore me down
stretched me thin
until you could
shape and mold me
pacify me
use me
abuse me


'im sorry'
was the melody
music to your ears
groveling at the need
for you to keep me in your collection

'but don't you love me?
but don't you need me?'
a record i hate on repeat
because you refuse to play
the one where i say no.
instead, you turned the volume down.

not anymore.
i am the screeching halt
to the lullaby you composed
interrupted by screaming, by clawing
by my refusal to let you ruin me

it's not that i no longer sing at all.
its just that i choose to wait
for someone capable of harmony.