I promised everyone
I promised myself
I will never **** myself on their birthdays,
On a holiday,
Or on the first day I want to.
The first day, the first night.
I will try things, I will run through my pointless, stupid safety plan
I will call someone
And think about how they will feel
If I die anyway.
I will think about everyone who says they will care.
I will try to believe they will care.
I will try to believe my absence would harm them,
Instead of being for their own good really,
Once they get used to it.
I will not make a plan for tomorrow,
How I will do it,
When and where.
I will hurt but sit still anyway.
I will say to myself, over and over
I promised. I promised. I promised.
I will eat. I will sleep. I will cry.
I will write this poem.

I will do what I can for you.
For one day and one night.