I feel older, but it's mostly because I am
and this house  it’s old too even if you refuse to
admit it
“my parents were the first to live here” was the phrase
and all the parts that need fixing   the dripping walls
the cold waters    boiling what we can for warmth
the smells emanating from the wood floors, marked
by feet of all types and grimy shoes
it all adds up
the panic, anger, and desperation

so i sent you the dirtiest of pictures   with bad
intentions   too
and envisioned your eyes trailing the body
of another woman  
I made myself sicker in your presence
and let your house consume me