it’s been a while
i never though i’d write again
let’s catch up shall we?
theres been a job i held for three years
theres a new job i love doing now
theres a want to move out and get a place of my own
theres a car that i’m in love with
theres a semester thats been finished
a few more to go

there was a guy
and another
and another
theres one right now, i really like him

there were a few pregnancy scares with the last guy
who was clearly not capable of being a father
(especially after i really sat down and thought about how much of an ******* he is)
there were lies and fights

but theres these three women and one man
that have had my back for the past two years
oh how i love them!
roman, andrea, jasmine, alexis
they light up my life
theres been drunk nights out
theres been dancing
some crying, breaking down, deep conversations
there was some hiking and parties
i would do anything for them

there was some grieving
my father
there were a lot of fights, yelling, breaking things
there were 5150s
then there was
nothing
there was a lot of crying
a lot of days taken off work
a funeral
there was an anger towards my mother because she didn’t show up

but then there was calm
there was realizing everything was going to be okay
there was a good feeling, a grand hope
there was letting go and trusting myself

there wasn’t anymore attempts to take my own life
there wasn’t anymore alcohol abuse
all the things i was doing when i was eighteen
i’m twenty two now, happy, proud, content

there was a lot of realization
there’s still going to be a lot of realization
there’s going to be a lot of growing
a lot of struggling, torment, and sacrifice
but i will get there
i am happy
but i will be even more happy
i will get there.