you tell me
it starts small
you say
one spark
shame curled between your shoulder blades
really say
one flicker, all it takes
you never noticed you don’t remember it doesn’t matter anymore, really
     she apologised
     a house in seconds
     he didn’t do it again
i think of what it would be like
often

for you,
forgiveness something to share
i know you hate me
i tell you, i
can’t stop
say
it starts small
steam burning a hole in my chest
say
you never wanted it to start at all
i noticed i remember it mattered it did it
words can be a balm if you believe in them enough
i don’t know how you–
words can be enough to build a house
–live
from ashes to bone to home

i don’t know if i want to keep living like this

you are too easy
and i think
i fear i fear i fear because that’s all
i think often
i am all
of what you’ve forgiven
i learn and the spark
of what i would fight for you
the spark is too quick
and i think
i can burn down a house in seconds
i think often
i know i make you afraid
i’ve never seen you lit except
at me