LOST ANGEL

the universe
waited outside herself
like an impatient taxi

already thinking of
the next fare
after her

"Let it wait!" she thought to herself
In exactly 5
and 25 minutes

Christmas would arrive
in all its customary
vulgarity

it now an Xmas
rather than
a Christmas

she on the other hand
walked through
her memories

adrift  in an attic
looking for a lost angel
her childhood packed away

in boxes broken open
under the constraints
of time and age

days wrapped
in cobwebs
angel nowhere to be seen

here her headless horse
of the rocking
variety

somehow
getting by
on only three legs

Time hadn't been kind
to it and her being such
a boisterous child

and here at last
the angel that had
set her on this journey

of discovery
finding this
lost self

an angel absconding
from its duties
topping the tree

crushed
and glitterless
minus a wing

her first doll still
gazing lovingly
at her

through its one good
button eye hanging on by
a  blue coloured thread

outside Christmas came
without her even knowing
it was Christmas

mist hid everything
instead of snow
erasing reality

as it was
when she was
the little girl of before

the time being
always
a Christmas Eve
that excited hush

of expectancy
rather than
the day itself

the doll remembering her
as she was
when she kissed her

and cried all over her
"Oh oh...she's
beautiful!"

hugging her
once again
to her chest

the bells
mounting the sky
announcing her joy

*

Her daddy used to call her Angel instead of Angela and she called her dolly Angel so she went looking for an angel and found herself.