Its almost as if you halfway want me
or you can't decide if I'm worth a full pursuit
or I'm just the sloppy seconds compared to the one you really want.
I didn't recognize I believed these lies
until I was blatantly told the truth.

Jesus didn't halfway die for me.
He didn't begrudgingly go to the cross
and he doesn't merely tolerate me.

I am not mad
and I am not blaming you for anything.
But I am having an epiphany: I am worth a full pursuit.
And I'm not mad because I know, right now, you can't be that
or give that to me.

I would say we met at the wrong time
but I don't think thats true.
Because like its said, "God doesn't make mistakes."
And if anything its practicing patience within me
and trust within Him.

I don't know how this story ends,
but because of Jesus I know it is a better ending
than I could ever dream of creating.

I don't write this for you
or for anyone
but myself

This is my declaration:
*I am uniquely created
and beautifully made
I am worth a full pursuit
just as Christ fully pursues the church.
I will not worry
I will not cry
I will live my life as if you never walked in it
And if one day you come back when you're ready
maybe I will be too.