Never partied in life. Never socialized.
Awkward woman gets nobody.

Nervous laughs and giddy hands quivering
Stage fright exploding

Why am I even in this world
I am just full of fear.

A lot of fear.
I would rather live in a cupboard than expect humans to leave me alone.

Cupboard and I will box myself in from cacophony and lies.
I was always alone and that was always wise.

Fear of being alone my entire life is gripping me, given that loyalty is so rare.

I was never a player, why me, why cannot I have a sincere person. Why? I never wrecked. I never had anybody to cheat on.

I don't know what karma is this? When I have never wronged anyone, why me dodging involved humans.

When should I have exactly lured a man? When I was engrossed in my studies? And now at this age all are taken.

I don't know but solitary life was not what I had imagined, but my ethics won't let me wreck nor play with anybody.
Am I that old lady with kittens at 60 who dies while knitting a sweater? Yes.
Or am I a turtle in a shell? Turtle in a shell, tumbled on the road and died.

Why do I keep tumbling, bumbling, rumbling, grumbling, fumbling?