i'll drink it down: the unmanageable pain and lose my worth in the process. the strength i’ve tried to pretend to have since i was a little child who discovered not having love defines me. i was always undeserving, just once someone told me i wasn’t that i could be happy and foolish me believed them. i’ll drink it down: get wasted to forget to change myself so that i am unrecognizable. i believed in miracles, but perhaps that was naïve. i’ll drink it down: the sorrow until it is one with my skin until it is buried, until it is unrecognizable. until that is all i am.
all i feel is hurt. i’m sick of writing about the same emptiness so i’ll probably stop writing for a bit. it just hurts.