when i tried to **** myself that night
something in my brain broke
i wasn't the same anymore
usually after a black and white episode
i can feel love for that person/people again
but when i woke up in the hospital after that attempt
that love was gone
i used to be able to feel love for some people and all animals
now i can't love humans anymore
i feel even less empathy for humans now than i did before
i can barely care about my friends
how can i care about anyone else
my heart is shriveled up and dead
it doesn't work anymore