I smell my mom's hair, trying to memorize her warmth

I shed tears for a moment that hasn't come and feel loss for a person I haven't lost yet

I write down my grandparents' words, learning their wisdom so their knowledge won't die with them

Planning and hurrying for a day that doesn't exist yet

I recite my dad's words, Thinking of how much I'll miss them, How much they mean to me

I day dream of sitting at a grave

I prepare myself for the sadness to come, hoping the tears I shed now will lessen the ones to fall later

But all I can imagine when I sit at that grave, is wondering why I spent that time mourning instead of laughing with them

My Nana told me once, you could have 100 years with someone and you still wouldn't be ready for them to leave

I think I'll cry even harder when that day comes

And my memories of them will be sorrow