cause i loved this place for so long, london.

am i sad because i've been listening to TTPD all week? or
i've been listening to TTPD all week because I am sad?
i don't know, man.

but what i do know is that nobody prepared me for 22.
nobody informed me that living on your terms can sometimes somewhat be lonely.
i love writing so much. but at this age,
i find myself lost for words most of the time,
as if they're there, but blurred, hidden, or far from my reach.
and so, rambling has been added to one of my skill sets.

there is something liberating and wretched at 22.
how we can understand now why adults act the way they do,
how there's so much to heal from and so much to discover -
a bittersweet year for the miscreant child.

i never believed in Christmas wishes as i know He listens everyday,
but I am gonna put this wish in writing:
may I once again find the right words and action to bring to life Your every desire. may I once again reach You. may I once again be worthy. may I once again be Love.