i understand the sentiment, you’re unsure of my ability
my reliability
my drive

It could’ve been something that I said, my phrasing is always self-deprecating I know
Ive needed the adjustment, I don’t do well I know

What bothers me is the piling.
Everything always increases
It never gets easier

Not that I don’t think that I can
But haven’t been able to
I have never shown myself that Im capable

I tell myself differently
Like yelling at a brick wall
I stand unmovable at my own motivation
Wouldn’t my words mean more?

No matter what
I can
I will
I have before
I will continue

Ill never stop, but my heart wants the feeling to stop
Ill never let it
She can take it

Im also so sick of this depressing hopeful tone that I take. That I don’t think I can but will do it type speaking
I don’t know why I do it, because I’ve always been a self fulfilling prophecy, those feelings always end up being true.