i'm never sure who i am,
just a person going through
a routine until i die?
or trying to seek a great perhaps,
trying my hardest to find reason
in coincidences and signs?
i've never been a fan of swallowing pills,
they were all too big for me
and i got sick too often,
it's just one of the talents i have.
i hate how i think of certain people
when i see things that remind me of them,
innocent objects;
cds, certain words, types of cars, every day sounds,
but i know i'd be lost without all the memories.
yesterday i saw a comic, and i thought about
two at the same time and i tried
my hardest to think about neither
i don't want to know which one
will warm my heart and chill my bones.
i was once too sick,
my throat was stuck closed
except to let me breathe
and no one could force any pills
so i had to get a shot,
and i remember the way the cold liquid felt,
how it spread underneath my skin,
it was painful, horrible,
but at the same time it gave me relief
and i realized i enjoyed the feeling.