I sit and cry as my wave of strength breaks against the rocky beach Spreading thinner, shallower, weaker, until it can't keep moving I feel a surge of dread as the great depths pull me inexorably backwards And feel my hope flicker desperately with a dim and feeble light
The doubts whisper and scream that my life was never meant to be this good. That I never deserved any of this. That I'm not valuable enough to be happy. That joy is ephemeral and despair is eternal.
I feel the curved teeth of the void trying to sink back in Trying to drag me back, back, back. I scream at the Void, tell him he can't have me And my heart dreams that will be enough
My entire being makes a wish Dreaming, begging the universe to manifest a place Where all that is good might be a wellspring in my soul And where despair might never be eternal, merely loud.
I wrote this a little while back, but needed to find a few words to finish it, and they didn't come until today