Nov 4
END OF SUMMER
once
with astonishment
I stole
a butterfly
from the end
of summer
I only meant
to borrow her
admire her
the miracle of her
smeared clumsily
across my child's hand
so that I could not
return her
to what little was left
of summer
leaving a jagged hole
in the time of the sky
where she
should have
been
a box
empty of its matches
served as a makeshift
coffin
matches stuck in
fresh earth
like little red-headed
flowers
blazing all at once
her funeral pyre
often I steal
back to that moment
cut out of summer
the empty place she left
in me
seeing clearly
the butterfly shape
cut awkwardly
out of time
jagged
at the edges
my mind seeing beyond
into the infinity
of death
hoping
her ghost
can forgive me
*
I then tried to give her the kiss of life and ended up swallowing her...which is another story...another poem!
BETWEEN THE SPACE
When I was small
I wanted - a pet.
My mother didn't
- like pets.
'It followed me home! '
'Can I...keep it...can I...can..! '
didn't work
& I invariably had to
return the kidnapped cat
to the house I had
'borrowed' him from.
Between the space
where my mother wrung screaming wet clothesthrough the rollers
and out the other side to quite flatness
and the coal bunker
where a briquette wire spat at me
almost nearly blinding my left eye
I captured a Cabbage White
hiding amongst the coal.
Emptying the strawberry jam with the gollywog on
I gave her a world of glass
where she danced to the sunlight's mad music.
Neither she nor I
understanding the nature of glass
her dancing grew frantic
my love stifling.
I not knowing
all things
must breathe
the dancing died to a sudden stop.
Being an impressionable child
and after only seeing a life safety film
I dived through the panic
and swam madly against the guilt
took her gently
into my trembling
fingers...her dusty colour
taking my fingerprints
I tried to give her
the kiss of life
choked with grief
and swallowed her
terror in my mind
butterfly in my tummy
and fear running
blind and crazy
that I could not
give her
her dancing
back again.
I said nothing
for years
(about the incident)
until I could explain
myself to myself
and my self
...understood.
once
with astonishment
I stole
a butterfly
from the end
of summer
I only meant
to borrow her
admire her
the miracle of her
smeared clumsily
across my child's hand
so that I could not
return her
to what little was left
of summer
leaving a jagged hole
in the time of the sky
where she
should have
been
a box
empty of its matches
served as a makeshift
coffin
matches stuck in
fresh earth
like little red-headed
flowers
blazing all at once
her funeral pyre
often I steal
back to that moment
cut out of summer
the empty place she left
in me
seeing clearly
the butterfly shape
cut awkwardly
out of time
jagged
at the edges
my mind seeing beyond
into the infinity
of death
hoping
her ghost
can forgive me
*
I then tried to give her the kiss of life and ended up swallowing her...which is another story...another poem!
BETWEEN THE SPACE
When I was small
I wanted - a pet.
My mother didn't
- like pets.
'It followed me home! '
'Can I...keep it...can I...can..! '
didn't work
& I invariably had to
return the kidnapped cat
to the house I had
'borrowed' him from.
Between the space
where my mother wrung screaming wet clothesthrough the rollers
and out the other side to quite flatness
and the coal bunker
where a briquette wire spat at me
almost nearly blinding my left eye
I captured a Cabbage White
hiding amongst the coal.
Emptying the strawberry jam with the gollywog on
I gave her a world of glass
where she danced to the sunlight's mad music.
Neither she nor I
understanding the nature of glass
her dancing grew frantic
my love stifling.
I not knowing
all things
must breathe
the dancing died to a sudden stop.
Being an impressionable child
and after only seeing a life safety film
I dived through the panic
and swam madly against the guilt
took her gently
into my trembling
fingers...her dusty colour
taking my fingerprints
I tried to give her
the kiss of life
choked with grief
and swallowed her
terror in my mind
butterfly in my tummy
and fear running
blind and crazy
that I could not
give her
her dancing
back again.
I said nothing
for years
(about the incident)
until I could explain
myself to myself
and my self
...understood.
