I am beyond cruel to myself
The things I say
The things I do
I would never say
I would never do
To another person
Yet for myself I cannot muster kindness
I cannot find any grace

I would never wish myself upon another person
I could never imagine
Another person feeling anything for me
Anything beyond entertainment
Beyond a platonic love

I cannot find beauty
In the curves of my face and body
I cannot find kindness in my eyes
I only see horrid cracks and flaws
Words from the past carved a place
So deeply in my heart that none could heal it

I find cowardice under my ribs
Hiding like roaches
Branching webs of lies
That fall past my lips like toads

How can I be so kind and patient
With those I love
Yet so inconceivably cruel to myself?