he can’t never do anything right
there’s so many wrong things about me, he’ll eventually realize that as well - then, leave
I hate him because he doesn’t hate me
not aggressive enough, too loving, never says the right things
there are no right things
there’s nothing in me that I like
I can’t stand my face my voice my writing
I don’t even know who I am
I don’t know what I’m feeling, but to express it I’d have to bleed/scream/both
no one takes me seriously enough
suicide isn’t fierce enough, I’d have to ****** myself
****** enough
I want an antipsychotic, I want to stop thinking
I’m also scared of not thinking
I’m scared of the opposite
the fact that I’d pick shooting or stabbing myself over taking a bunch a pills should tell you a lot about how I’m feeling
back in the day I’d be more dramatic,
today, it’s not violent enough
I’m always boiling with anger, I could **** someone, but it isn’t the plan
I hate myself with an intensity I wouldn’t devote to anyone else, I want to stab myself in the chest
always defensive, don’t let anyone get too close
my 4th grade teacher noticed
I was always the girl who thought feelings were for weak people, but I was exploding, I still am
no one gets it
I can’t discern reality anymore
why do I care so much about it?
I’m not manipulative, I just want to make sure they got it right, but they never do
anyone is sicker than I am
they never give me a straight answer anyway
blank spaces bother me way too much
I wish I could say it all out loud
"while missing the bigger picture"
I’m sorry
it all started because he was tired and wanted to lay down for a minute or two, how dare he
hurting myself is never enough
I hate you, please don’t leave me
most of the time I just want somebody to hurt me
hurt someone/hurt myself
when I’m walking home at night I pray for someone to **** and **** me
he loves me too much and it makes me mad
if I hate him, he should hate me right back, but his love is always unconditional
never assertive enough
I hope he feels the same.
all these bad things I feel and think about him right now won’t be true in the morning, but I’d like to say them anyway just to cause some harm
when he doesn’t listen, I feel rejected
everything does
neglected
I love every bit of him and I hate him for that
ever too conflicting
if I could describe the agony I’d say I have paper cuts all over my body and then they plunged me in a pool full of alcohol
it still wouldn’t be enough
it’s been my identity for way too long, but why can’t anyone tell me what’s wrong?
I wish I could trust someone
he tells me not to filter anything, but I am incapable of letting people know what are my actual needs
I love your voice more than anything in the world
will I be able to sleep?
I don’t even know how to properly hurt myself
I’m stupid for letting them brainwash me, agree with “treatment”
what is it like to be a lost case?
I want to sleep
when he asked me if I wanted him to hate or hurt me, I felt like crying
*I’m not going anywhere