Dear Lizzie,
I wish I knew then,
what I know now
before I married him
and made those vows.

I think about the past
every day and night,
and I try to stay focused
and do what is right.
But, I can’t discard
the unpleasant memories of him.
I thought that with time
they would dissipate,
but much to my chagrin
they linger and stay with me
and I try to forgive him, but I cannot.
Those memories still haunt me,
but he all too easily forgot.

With relief,
I battled and our marriage ended
but I still despise him for pretending,
Our children suffered
because he made our lives miserable
and he tore mine apart.
We were all left hurting
and he completely broke our hearts.

But Lizzie,
Never forget how strong you are,
like a phoenix from the ashes you arose, burning brightly like a star.
I know you won’t feel the same as I do now,
and you do not deserve
to feel ashamed orblamed
for your desire to flee to safety
with your family.

After all,
Life is for living
and you are not a dead weight,
I guess the past has taught us lessons
and that this is was just my fate.

Years have gone by since then
and I am still healing,
I must accept that the past
will never go away, but at times I cry
when I look at my children
because inside I am still reeling.

Breathe,
Try to focus on the future
and your children, and be the mother
who will be remembered with pride.
Lizzie, you kept them safe
and hidden from harm,
away from his torment and snide.
You deserve love
and you will conform with your values,
and I promise you
You will be happy again someday
You will be loved again
You will all be happy.

So, remember,
when it is raining
and the defiant sun shines,
there will always be rainbows
to brighten your day.

You are so brave.
Lizzie Bevis x