I don’t want to cry again.
I probably will while I write this.
it’s not easy.
life
no one said it would be
I just never thought it would be this hard
they say everyone goes through something hard
but does everyone go through something hard everyday
never wanting to leave your room
dreading seeing your family
because you know what will happen
your brother will get yelled at for doing something wrong
you want to help but you don’t know how to
the same thing happened to you for 7 years
every night
something new you ******* up
so you learned
how to listen
and not respond
because all you wanted was for the yelling to stop
and eventually it did
but you never forgot the tears
the same tears now running down your brothers face
but don’t worry
when they’re done with him they’ll move to you
telling you how you’re fat and need to stop eating
so much that you no longer like the thing you see in the mirror
telling you that you need to smile more
that you need to stop being angry
you aren’t
but they don’t know that
and you aren’t going to tell them
they’ll just yell more
when you do leave your room
you make a run for the door
leaving the house for days at a time
just to try and escape your life
the only happiness you have is being with friends
but at some point that doesn’t make you happy anymore
because your problems will always be in the back of your mind
you parents fighting
day in and day out
they take your anger out on you
but you don’t say anything
you never do
not anymore
so you cry
and then one day he leaves
your dad just walks out and leaves you
try’s to get you to come with him
as if he didn’t just ruin your life
you say no
but that’s not an option
you’re forced to put your life together in a suit case
always moving
when you argue you get sent away
to a therapist
to fix you
but they can’t change how you feel
so you lie
tell them you are happy
and eventually they let you go
but you stop seeing your dad
ignoring his texts
but your mom isn’t any better
still pestering you about every little detail
constantly thinking your angry
telling you to watch your weight
forcing you to hear her problems
people tell you to take it easy on her
she just got divorced
did it not happen to me too?
I can’t give her sympathy when she doesn’t give it to me