ever since I was a little child ,anger was my definition of love
I’ve always watched my family fighting and I thought that was love
I thought love was violent and loud
and that’s how it was supposed to be
I thought it was all done with prolonged fights and heated arguments
or it was like touching a fire flame not knowing it’d burn you
because whenever I attempted to look for ways or signs of love
I just remembered the raging noises and meaningless yet haunting  fights
nobody taught  me what love is or how it felt or how it should be
and when I loved someone it manifested in
all of my fury and rage until my words cut them deeper
And I confusingly wonder if I did something wrong or if love
should really be that way ?
if it should burn them alive and make them shed tears ?
but if it was really this way why whenever I love someone they leave ?
Oh am I a mad woman full of rage and ig that’s where it came from
Because I’ve never seen affection with my own eyes
or felt in my bones to be able to give that to someone else