I don’t want to be here.

Of course, I can’t say that to anyone.
Anyone and its faces alive and happy.
Why should I ruin their day?

I just need to hold on till it ends.
Of course, it’s only just started.
The sacrifice of one for the many.
Right?
But that sacrifice is always me.
And I let it be.
Why shouldn’t I let it be?

Why do I feel this everywhere I am?
I keep expecting that when we leave I can be in a place of peace again,
But it never comes.
The bed I sleep in even is a place of fear and a wish to be elsewhere.
But where else can I go?

Nowhere is home for a martyr of the many.