I'm a liar.
I lie more times a day than I can remember.
I lie every time I say I'm ok,
which is too often.

My head hurts.
My heart bleeds.
The ground I stand on has crumbled so many times I've given up trying to rebuild.

I hate the way I wake up not knowing if tears await.
I love it.

Every connection is shaky.
Do I even have friends?
Do I even like them?

What is going on?
I love chaos.
Perfectly unstable.
One night in love,
torn the next.
I blast loud music to drown pain out,
to hush my racing mind,
then I cry.

I laugh to fit in.
I laugh at what is funny.
I laugh at how broken I feel.

I live on the edge
of sanity.
Freefalling
Except this time I'll seek no help,
this time I'll enjoy the wind in my hair.