just six minutes. that's all. hold it together.
stop. do not cry. please don't cry. they'll all see.
bite your lip. choke it back. be stone-faced.

five more minutes. you might get kicked out of school.
your parents money will have gone to waste.
they're going to be so mad. but please don't cry. don't.

alright, four minutes. keep your composure.
stop shaking your legs. your eyes are watering.
don't cry. just look out the window.

only three minutes now. breathe. don't cry.
do not cry on this bus. cry in your room. don't think about the fact
that you might've just ruined everything. more importantly - don't cry.

just two more minutes. that's all. the sky is so pretty.
look at your nails. ignore the lump in your throat. do not cry.
i'm begging you not to cry. don't. please, please, please don't.

one more minute. almost there. breathe. stay calm.
they don't know what's wrong. don't think about the fact that you ******* up so bad.
hold it in. alright. you're home now. you can cry, but you might not stop.


*(there's a stupidly long story behind this that i honestly don't have the time or desire to explain to anybody so don't worry about it i just really needed to distract myself on the bus.)