I wish I hated you; I wished upon a star to take away the love I've held onto
In its truest form, it's the hurt embedded in my body, mind and soul
that lurches out in the cold nights when I'm alone,
and all I can think about is you, you, you, god.
I wish I hated you because hating you would be easier than mourning something that could never be, never was and never become.
I wish I hated you. I wish our stars were aligned and the time was right. I wish I had just a bit of you if not all.
I wish I hated you. Because the rest of my friends do, they remark that you're no good and that I'm a fool for loving you.
But if I had known it was foolish to love, I wouldn't have fallen as hard as I did. I would've dusted myself off, titled my head on the right axis, and left you alone.

I wish I hated you, I repeat and reorganise the thoughts in my head.
You're no good for me. You know this, and I know this. It's why you left, and I yearn for closure that will never happen.
I wish you loved me as much as I love you, even after the serrated edge of the knife has been punctured my heart and I choked on my blood in front of you.
I wish I didn't have feelings for you; seeing you spike my heart rate. Frankly, I'm too young to die to supraventricular tachycardia, your face etched into my cornea.
You become all I focus on, all I want and hyper-fixate upon.
I wish I didn't want you as badly as I did. I wish I hated you because if I did.
I wouldn't be so eager to love another, to give my heart to someone else, hoping to take mine out of your grasp.
I wish I could forget you and the memories allocated to your face.

God, I wish I hated you as much as I love you.