Last night he said he
was worried about me.
He said one day he'd wake up
and suddenly be without me.
I've been worried about
but I've always pulled through.
I just don't know how to say
that this is nothing new.
I'm okay, I'm okay.
I will be just fine.
I swear to god I've said this
seven million times.
Please, what I need
is for you to believe me.
Because I swear all I really need
is for you to not leave me.
And I'll choose what to lose,
my sadness or him.
I've known you longer,
but I need him to win.
I know you said to me
"I'll never leave you"
But maybe you're a liar
And I just can't believe you.
Or maybe I'm the liar
who just can't find the truth.
Maybe you're the drug
that can't stopped being used.
I've been living with fear
and you're always too near.
I think that I've held you
just a little too dear.
"Don't worry about me"
I've said and I've said.
I'll try harder to control
all the things in my head.

*6.10.13