The man made of glass

It wasn’t always like this.
There was a time I was normal.
It all happened so fast.
That’s the first time I shattered

I had to make a choice,
so the pieces were forced.
But like my favorite ornament,
the shards never fit back perfectly.

That’s what living feels like.
A sledgehammer slams into my side,
and I once again have to choose.
Of course, I’m a gambling man, I roll the dice.

It hurts so ******* bad.
So I don’t take pride in myself.
I hate the way they look at me.
Oh well, I breathe in and out; repeat.

My world is warm when I’m with someone,
it’s a toxic form of insulation.
I’m the equivalent of a moth-leech,
I’ll cling to you and sap your light.

Though in the beginning they see their light in me,
they’re mistaken into thinking I’m a firefly.
I’m sorry to say that this light isn’t mine,
if I stay near you I will hurt you.

I mean it when I say I’m sorry,
but no way in hell will I let you leave.
I NEED YOU, you can’t leave, you promised!
Ah yeah there it is, reality walks in as you walk out.

You can view me as a monster if you want,
because I really did mean it when I said I love you.
If hurting me or viewing me poorly helps you,
then of course I will understand, I’m a broken child too.

Why I’m incapable of holding grudges or hatred,
I understand what it’s like to try anything to avoid freezing.
Teachers, students and soldiers alike that made their disgust clear,
but i’ve had to deal with more intense hatred daily.

I’ve said it time and again,
there is a demon that shares my name.
If words were like weapons,
i’d be dead a million times over.

I’ll fall apart once again today like always.
My only strength is forcing my hollow shards together.
But there’s a little more of me missing,
because I’m so quick to give my shards away.

That’s fine, I’m used to not existing…
So please…
Do me a favor, ok?
Take the last few and place them on red.

For I’m a gambling man, you see?
With a revolver that’s oh so shiny.
One bullet spins round in the chamber,
I wonder how the dice will fall?

Click.