It's been a year now

Last year around this same time
I was celebrating my birthday with my now ex-partner

She was extraordinarily gifted

She baked me a cake
and made me a dreamcatcher

Both from scratch

It's been a year now
A year of being alone, grumpy and miserable
A year of dinners by myself at random taquerias
A year of making multiple promises to myself that "I'm gonna be ok"
A year of looking up at the stars when
I get home at night and sighing
A year of looking in the mirror knowing
that I'm not getting any younger
A year of watching other couples hold hands
and remembering what that felt like

I don't know how much more of this I can take