I woke up today
with the make up from last night
still on
and I listened to my own heartbeat
for three hours straight
wondering
how could I make it stop.

I saw my own body
in a white dress
with perfect make up on
buried six feet under
and I couldn't help but notice
how stupid my tattoos looked
in there.

I refused to leave the house
without a silver ring
on my pinky finger
as if my life
depended on it
and that was the first time
I heard people
calling me crazy.

I wish I didn't wake up
today
but I did
and they told me
that I should be grateful
for it
but my favourite part of the day
is still those two minutes
when I don't even remember who I am.