All the abuse that I have seen
Has left me standing in a dream
Violence, blood, and tears shed
Paint all of my days crimson red
When I think of my horrid past
Grateful that images do not last
I can't help but sit and cry
Wishing that my soul could fly

I was kicked around by your boots
Never allowed to grow any roots
Moved form one place to another
I missed and needed my mother
Who usually ended up in jail cell
While I lived in this private hell
She was just trying to provide
Sometimes I wonder if she lied

Here I am sitting in foster care
Blank walls holding a cold stare
Feeling like I am always alone
In a house that can't be home
I have nothing at all to say
About that horrible day
That took me to this place
Letting tears roll down my face

After I had just settled in
I was forced to move again
With people who didn't care
If I was really even there
No one even held my hand
Try to help me understand
Why I am in all this pain
Why nothing is the same

Ready to move once again
Struggling with demons within
I sat in another lonely place
Tears streaming down my face
I felt someone touch my hand
They helped me understand
That life just goes astray
And everything will be OK

Here I am sitting in foster care
Walls, not holding my cold stare
For this time I am not alone
This house will be my home
And I remain here for a while
Thinking back will make me smile
Tears of happiness I will cry
My soul is finally able to fly.

Lost oh so ******* lost AI don't even know what the hell I am supposed to do.
How the **** did I just ******* lose you
A mother without her children is so **** incomplete Broken a hole in my soul
Where you are I don't even really ******* know

How do I handle this it's is such unbearable pain
To know you're out there somewhere where I can't hear you knowing you are calling my name
The sorrow the sense of loss and all the shame
I won't ever feel like I am the person I was one in the same

I pray that whoever becomes your foster parent until to me you can one day come back
Isn't ****** up quite ******* like that

I can't ******* breathe the walls are all closing in I can't even think of the words I needed to even pray
I just hope that one day you will forgive me and grow up to be okay.

My loss so profond that chaos runs rampant as I try to hold all these evils at bay
stuttering like a record that's skipping what do I even ******* say

I lead with the silence I live in it's a sound so loud inside of my head
Without you I would rather be ******* dead