I rack my mind from dusk til dawn
Filtering through a lifetime of memories
Some incredible, some dreadful
Some bring joy and belly busting laughter
Others bring a river of unending tears and pain
Where did I go wrong?
I surrendered every breath, every beat of this heart.
I freely sacrificed my soul
My every atom fully to the love of my life
My miracle, my reason for living
My every dream come true
My daughter
All I am I give her
All I know I teach her
All my heart belongs to her
At some crossing I took the wrong path
I let her down, I broke her heart unintentionally
Now stuck in this deep dark forest of my mind lost, deep in the weeds of this cruel existence.
Her hand slipped out of mine, I’m stumbling, I’m blind and falling over my own feet.
Searching through the darkness for eternity unable to find her.
She was stolen from me
Evil of social freedom and lies of this ugly reality have snatched her out of my arms.
What is left of her I don’t recognize
Someone with only distain for her mother
Blame is now my hell
Contempt surrounds me and envelopes the love that once filled my being
Bitter taste of disappointment stains every sustenance
No rest, no salvation
My mind is my nemesis
No chance of redemption
No matter the length of my penance
Eternally pleading for her to return, persist in my directive
Screaming and wailing to god for one sign of love, one smile from her, one small glimmer of hope. To be left alone in my darkness, praying until my voice ceases to exist.