I wonder if the bird wonders what it must me to be - me
esse quam videri ( to be rather than to seem to be)
words carved into the living tree the wounded bark
clouds too are my friends feel as if I could
step on one have the wind roll me about
fields... a green patchwork quilt
river... a silver thread house --a mere toy
Time spreads out endlessly
it is always and only forever
the created and uncreated map of Now
"Skin" or Gerard Manley Hopkins as I will get to know him
both up our respective trees
he in 1853 me in 1963
drinking in the world with our eyes
and one big gulp of the mind
*
REALITY'S UNRAVELLER
Charles Luxmoore on Gerard Manley Hopkins...
"...a fearless climber of trees, and would go up very high in the lofty elm tree, standing in our garden...to the the alarm of un-lookers like myself."
I on the other hand climbed trees to escape the world of my young sister's death...here at this great height I could be both in and out of the world...longing to be someone else...somewhere else....anywhere else...anyone else...even a bird if that could be...the map of the world spread below me...high above this bitter grief. I would "vanish" into bay windows and sit for hours whilst aunts and uncle stood a few feet from me and wondered where "the boy has gone" and call my name that didn't seem to be me anymore.
I remember sitting between two silver milk churns down in Cork and everyone unseeing of me as if my grief had made me invisible. I was "Of reality the rarest-veined unraveller..."