brian is the most beautiful
it could never be me
not when i'm myself
and they're them
i am an ant crushed by the incomprehensible size of an uncaring person's sandal
so i will continue to get high until i can't feel sad about my predicaments anymore
because i walk back to them and it feels like i've interrupted a party i wasn't invited to
where everyone stares at you in silence, forcing you to acknowledge the mortifying ordeal of being known
i am known to you but i wish i wasn't
i wish i wasn't your boulder, just waiting for someone to push me up a hill only to never see the fruits of success
i'm scared the feelings won't just go away
even after i gaslight myself into believing they were never there
i'm scared to say a lot of things
i hope you'll stay when i'm weak and vulnerable
i hope you'll stay