Born again.
It ain't no euphemism.
Dealing with this anger and depression
it's like I got the **** youth again
and I don't have any friends.
The people that call me don't read my pen
and they don't repent
but it doesn't make them any less heaven sent.
I've been learning and failing
for as long as I can remember.
The lessons I've learned has been simple tinder
for this fire in my soul and ain't no dent in my bumper that can muffle this thunder,
cause you're going to hear what I have to say
even if I cant find the words to muster.
My smile glistening with blood in my teeth
from all the rocks that I swallowed
when I ain't have nothing to eat.
I refused to claim defeat.
You couldn't walk in my shoes
cause I had bare feet.
Blisters that made them bleed
and it never stopped me.
I was beaten black and blue
but I kept silent to appease you.
What you said you'd do if I told,
wasn't what happened when the truth unfolded. Instead I was scolded.
Lost wandering in this world and
always cold shouldered. Considering it all,
I kept the chip of mine.
Walked the line and called on the divine.
Then I woke up one day and decided not to live past 9 cause when I called up to God,
I got the busy toned line.
I woke up and there was no one home to find me.
The message was blinding.
No one was going to save me besides me
so I got to the soul finding.
I woke up again and I was 25.
My old life was behind and I had a chance to shine.
No direction to go in,
just went where the river was flowing.
Without even knowing
I was living and growing.
The old memories were like a dream
but theres one I've been constantly chasing.
I refuse to forget
when my memories constantly erasing.
It's been hard to face dealing with a body that always felt out of place.
Defending my energy with a can of mace
and suddenly it's only me left to embrace.
So I do, until I turn blue.
Transcending time and space trying to find you.