Oct 2013
It's funny how memories play out in your mind
like you could almost see them in 10 second clips
Usually of your favorite bits and pieces of them
over
and
over
again
Wishing you could slink them out of your head and put them to play on a projector
Blissfully watching what was your happiest moments.
I think my head is overflowing with cassette tapes and miles and miles of film full of you
You and your face and us,
all of the things we did that were so memorable to me
Which was a lot when i think about it
they rewind in my brain so many times during the days and no matter what i can never get them
Out
or press stop
And sometimes i think that maybe in some way i don't want them to go astray
They make me who i am and who we were.
All together i think it's almost two years worth of memories
And all together i think it's three years worth of feelings
I've had for you
and i've been submissive to all the memories no matter how much pain they cause me
Of course i remember the bad ones to,
the ones we spent arguing and feeling inadequate for it afterwards
Even the bad ones had passion in them
no matter the fact we were so young and didn't
Fully understand how much a relationship like the one we had required understanding and common
Sense and maturity.
You cannot have that amount of passion for someone if you did not feel the upmost of love and Care that we felt
well
at least what i felt for you
Rooting from within the core of my brain where the memories are stashed is such a potent and concentrated mix of love
That no quantity of hate that i could try and spur up could water it down
Even now, with the countless reasons i have to forget you and yank out those memories and bash them into the ground and light a fire
I can't
because when i look at you i feel the most powerful emotions any human possesses;
Love and hate.
I didn't know they could be mixed in such equal amounts
And i pray to a god that i don't believe in that i someday feel one more than the other
To push the scales off the balance they stay
So i can walk away from you
your memory
Every last trace of you in my system
because i know for now at least,
that loving you is a one way street now
And the only thing it'll be of use to me
is to hold together every last tape, film, cassette, picture,
video,
and written word that embodies you.
They're funny things, human memories.
like you could almost see them in 10 second clips
Usually of your favorite bits and pieces of them
over
and
over
again
Wishing you could slink them out of your head and put them to play on a projector
Blissfully watching what was your happiest moments.
I think my head is overflowing with cassette tapes and miles and miles of film full of you
You and your face and us,
all of the things we did that were so memorable to me
Which was a lot when i think about it
they rewind in my brain so many times during the days and no matter what i can never get them
Out
or press stop
And sometimes i think that maybe in some way i don't want them to go astray
They make me who i am and who we were.
All together i think it's almost two years worth of memories
And all together i think it's three years worth of feelings
I've had for you
and i've been submissive to all the memories no matter how much pain they cause me
Of course i remember the bad ones to,
the ones we spent arguing and feeling inadequate for it afterwards
Even the bad ones had passion in them
no matter the fact we were so young and didn't
Fully understand how much a relationship like the one we had required understanding and common
Sense and maturity.
You cannot have that amount of passion for someone if you did not feel the upmost of love and Care that we felt
well
at least what i felt for you
Rooting from within the core of my brain where the memories are stashed is such a potent and concentrated mix of love
That no quantity of hate that i could try and spur up could water it down
Even now, with the countless reasons i have to forget you and yank out those memories and bash them into the ground and light a fire
I can't
because when i look at you i feel the most powerful emotions any human possesses;
Love and hate.
I didn't know they could be mixed in such equal amounts
And i pray to a god that i don't believe in that i someday feel one more than the other
To push the scales off the balance they stay
So i can walk away from you
your memory
Every last trace of you in my system
because i know for now at least,
that loving you is a one way street now
And the only thing it'll be of use to me
is to hold together every last tape, film, cassette, picture,
video,
and written word that embodies you.
They're funny things, human memories.
