Let me tell you
about myself.
At first glance
you can tell
that I am quite a timid one.

A subtle nod
and perpetual smiles,
you'd think
a girl like me
is incapable
of thoughts as dark
as the ebony night.

But look again,
look into my eyes,
you'll find that they
are stained with pain.

At times you'll notice
my eyes may glimmer
but it is in fact,
a layer of water.

It's a layer of sorrow,
a layer of confusion.
A layer of words
that cannot be spoken.

Look deeper into
the windows of my soul.
You'll see a flash
of colours and lights.

A rose red teddy,
a puppy companion.
Those were the days
my toys came alive.

Then as quickly
as the flash had appeared
it disappears into
a monochrome soul.

It's as old
as the trees,
as wise
as the sky.

It knows everything
just by looking and seeing.

Now what's that pulse,
you may ask.
It's my heart,
it beats for freedom.

It beats to be free
like the doves above.
To taste the stars
and fill vacant spaces.

It yearns to be
a cloud in the sky,
a droplet in the ocean,
a grain of sand
belonging to the land,
and one with the world.

But then again,
there are others
my heart beats for
whose expectations
cannot go unmet.

Once in a while,
there comes along
a throbbing ache.

Though a fleeting one,
it's mark remains.
At times I can
almost hear it go
snap snap crack.

But it always
leaves me bemused.
The thought of something
oh so fragile
yet so tough.

Now that you've
flipped through pages
of myself,
and you're just about
to close the book,
I wonder if
you still think of
me as the girl
whom you judged
by her cover.