There’s a constant yearning feeling, and a thought, so loud,
in another’s voice.

saying something disconcerting every time.

how i’m insufficient,
or how i’m embarrassing,
saying i cant trust anyone else,
making me feel like i cant trust myself.

i truly don’t understand where other peoples motives lie, nor where my own.

and i’m exhausted from trying so hard to prove myself everyday,
and still falling short every time.

i want so badly to be eased in the right direction.

i want my hand held,
i want the security of knowing that the world is more than just a place where i have to learn to be cruel and vindictive like everyone else.

i want someone to actually care.

to be kind.
to teach me to be kind again.

i don’t know,

i hope one day i can look back at this and laugh, because i’m finally in a better place.