I’m soaked in gas
And the voices are waiting
For the flawless time
To burn me alive
They crave to set themselves loose
And I’m the only obstacle they have

I have at no time, met anyone
Who despises me as I do
And the voices I have inside me
I fought and fought a lot against them
But they don't lose
But I lost every time I tried
To escape
The alcohol was their fuel
To even fight more intense
It didn’t help me except for a little bit every time
I just had to drown myself in an alternative thing
To numb my pain
A thing that ruined me slowly
I might not loathed drinking
I wanted to drink more
Unconscious of the consequences
Till that night's darkness descended
And I went far away from my limits
I needed to end everything
I needed to end me
So I gathered all the pills
Drank all the liquor I can
I didn’t crave a single positive voice
To stop me
The horrible voices will constantly possess me
I just wanted them to stop
I wanted to set myself loose at that time
Not them, no
But I didn’t take a single pill
As I was saved

I was left in my own room
With smell of liquor
That might make anyone who comes
Near, puke
I was left for my emotions to eat me
For the voices to burn me
While laying in my bed,
Taking it all
Craving the thought
That I might have stopped them

That fight changed a lot in me
But didn’t stop them from giving me
All the despising they give me
I have no idea
How can someone despise himself like that
I ruined a lot of things I did
Only because of this despise
The shame might not do a thing at all now
But I will bleed out on papers
Till I can win
I shall not give them a pass
To win
It’s me or me