spreading shimmering
blue on my fingertips -
appropriate,
i think, curled on the floor.
convenient that the
only color locked
in the bathroom with me
is blue
watching myself change colors,
hair towel-wrapped and dripping,
i realize
there are statistics for this.
*there are statistics for me.*
girls who sit on the floor
sopping polish on their
fingers to keep from
sobbing -
girls who
can't let their
pain
wake the neighbors.
anonymous surveys ask
questions about girls like me -
and i won't lie
i'll tell them
the things they use
to build statistics
that put girls like me
in boxes -
separate.
between the last one
and the next,
someone reading somewhere
will know, that
someone somewhere else
once sat,
spreading shimmering
blue
on her fingertips,
convincing herself
that when she
unlocked the bathroom door,
she wouldn't
love him anymore.