i'm in love with the concept of it all.
i love how gentle the world is.
i love how sweet everyone is.


i'm infatuated by you and your words.
the sweet speak that protrudes from your lips,
and the way you look at me so softly.


if i wrote on paper the perfect life,
the perfect hallucination,
this would be it.


i spent so much time creating this
perfect reality,
but it's really not so perfect, and
really not so real.


but a constant state of delusion is comfortable.
it's home.
i'm just here, in my mind,
creating the perfect, not so real, world experience
of a lifetime.


so forgive me for the confusion
forgive my ignorance and forgive my mistakes
i'm not really here.
i'm in my own world, where on paper it looks
a whole lot better than it really is.


i'm exhausted.
im not really here.
forgive me.