A Hail Mary Is Not Sustainable
by @dreamersdieharder
Who would've known the devil I chose...looks like an angel when she's sleeping.
Who would've thought a snake's venom tastes so sweet when I'm drinking the nectar of the woman I loved.
You are but a story, in a chapter, in the long book of my life...and here I thought we'd be co-authors together.
No. Because as much as I miss the idea of you, our four walls, our future together. I realize those ideas are merely thoughts of who I wanted you to be...not who you are.
I longed for a place atop your mind for so long. Spent days wondering what I had to do to make you smile - never stopping to question if I was happy with you...or the merely the mirage that I created in my mind.
I spew lies to myself, tell myself I won't find better than you. I don't deserve better than you, that I fumbled the biggest hail mary in the history of this field and yet as I stand near the endzone in the 4th quarter...I wonder if it's better to just to take knee and lose this game so I can come back and play another season.
A hail mary....is a last ditch effort...with a low probablity of success...it was never meant to be sustainable...I see that now.
We did not know each other very long...and yet I crashed into life with you 1000 miles a minute flying so fast I couldn't hear that little voice in my head...you know, the one that tells people not to fall in love overnight, not to trust the woman who lives with a smile on her face, a chip on her shoulder, and stake sticking through her heart....
No. I do not know what is on the other side of this mountain, but I'll be damned if I sit at the base crying for someone who does not have the capcity to love me, no I'll be damned if I don't reach for the stars in search of a better tomorrow.
The thing they don't tell you when you shoot for the stars...is how likely you are to hurl straight pass them...forever lost in the abyss of space.
So I ask you...is it better to shoot for the stars with a chance of missing...or stay on a planet that is actively dying...a little more every day?